Porcelænsdukke
by AnotherConstellationDies.x
Summary: "They had been in this union for nearly 230 years now. Thea had almost forgotten what it was like to be free."


**(porcelænsdukke = porcelain doll)**

**a bit of historical fem!norway/denmark which I actually wrote years ago, because I love history and I love fem!norway, she is my queen. Not a huge amount of plot, but imagining fem!Norway in beautiful 18th century dresses was all the inspiration I needed.**

**Takes place in the midst of the union that Denmark and Norway had between 1524 and 1814. It was meant to keep both countries on equal footing but Norway became somewhat of a neglected province. From the Norwegian perspective this union is sometimes called the "400 years of night". Tiny history lesson for you all!**

**Thea = fem!Norway and Mathias = Denmark, but I'm sure you could figure that out without me telling you.**

* * *

Thea had the best view of the gardens from this window. The groves of trees, the immaculate lawns, the beds of brightly coloured flowers, she could see it all from this window in one of the many drawing rooms in this big house.

Well, she would have been able to see it all, had it not been for the thick layer of snow covering everything in sight. The whiteness stretched on for miles, the snow was a huge, unbroken blanket across the Danish landscape. It ran right up to and over the horizon, where it blended in with the almost white sky. The brightness of it all hurt Thea's eyes, but she didn't want to look away. She didn't have anything else to look at.

She wanted to look over this land and imagine what it would be like to be in control of it. She wanted to know how Mathias felt when he looked out of the windows on a morning, and see nothing but his own land, his own territory, his own possessions.

As long as Thea was here, she would have no possessions. She was Mathias' possession. That is what she had been reduced to.

But he'd been good to her, as far as captors go. He was besotted with her, it was clear for anyone with two eyes to see that. He was keen to impress her, to look after her. He was absolutely in love with her, but she had no interest in him. Thus he never bothered her, he never came to her bedroom at night with cold, demanding eyes. No, he left her mostly alone, too busy getting into quarrels with Berwald.

But every so often, when it was dark outside, and a cold wind was howling around the eaves of the house Mathias would sit next to her on the sofa, content to do nothing but murmur sweet nothings in her ear. Thea no longer heard anything new when he did this, it was always the same old things; "Thea, I adore you, you are the most beautiful woman in the world, please understand _just how much _I adore you, my sweet Thea..."

She wouldn't say anything to this. She didn't say much anymore. They'd been in this union for nearly 230 years now, and it would last another 48 years, before she was handed over to Berwald as he tried to get over losing control of Finland to the Russians. Thea had nearly forgotten what it was like to be free and to be able to do what she wanted. She loved Mathias like a brother but she didn't love him like he wanted. She had tried to make herself love him like that once, long ago, but by now she was tired, she was so tired. She wanted a free Norway, she wanted to go home. But Mathias kept murmuring his sweet nothings, and as far as she could see she would continue to be stuck here.

And so she found solace in watching the world outside the window, losing herself in the movements of the trees, the birds singing, the slow journeying of the clouds across the immeasurably huge sky.

That was how Mathias found her, one cold morning in late December.

He stood in the open doorway, watching her. She had evidently not heard him come in, so he lifted a hand to knock on the door lightly. She jumped, almost imperceptibly, and turned to look at him.

She was so pale, Mathias would never be able to get over that. The dark colours of her dress only served to make her look paler, and those big dark blue eyes didn't help either. With the backdrop of snow behind her, she looked like a porcelain doll, immaculate and perfect down to the last detail. She wasn't, however, as fragile as a porcelain doll, he knew that. He knew it very well. He thought back to when it was the three of them, Thea, Berwald and himself, setting off across the sea to plunder and pillage and take what they wanted. They were so young and so ambitious, and they were not plagued and constrained by politics. They could do what they wanted, go where they wanted, and go they did. Their men had said it was bad luck to have a woman on board a ship but Thea would only laugh, leaning on her sword casually. When their raids were over, Thea's long hair would be streaked with blood, but she hadn't cared. She hadn't cared about anything back then.

Nowadays, her worries consumed her.

Eventually she raised an eyebrow at Mathias when it became apparent that he wouldn't say anything. "What is it?" She asked in a detached tone of voice, as if her mind was miles away.

He opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn't think of anything to say. He closed his mouth again, clearing his throat quietly. "I just...wanted to see how you were." He eventually said, wandering over to look out of the window with her.

She nodded after a moment. "I'm fine." Then, with her attention on the landscape again, she said, "Lots of snow this year."

"Yeah." Mathias murmured, glancing around the room. "You're not cold, are you? The fire's not on."

"Have you seen how many layers I've got on this dress?" Thea replied, a hint of a smile appearing on her face. "I'm fine."

Mathias chuckled awkwardly, wishing that this stilted conversation would turn into one of those that they used to have. "Fair enough." Silence descended between them, and Mathias found he had nothing to say.

He thought of the Christmas present he had for her, the intricately carved little wooden hairclip, similar to the one she'd had before that had unfortunately broken after years of use. He was almost nervous to give it to her. It was too intimate a gift, and he felt like he hardly knew her anymore. There was a part of his mind that was certain she hadn't got him anything for Christmas.

Eventually, as he watched her survey the gardens, he spoke in a voice that was probably louder than it should have been. "It's Christmas Eve tomorrow."

Thea nodded. "Yes, I'm looking forward to Christmas Day." The corners of her mouth curled up into a smile, and a rather intriguing one at that; maybe she _had _got him a Christmas present after all.

Mathias smiled a little, privately, so she couldn't see. "If...if you could ask for one thing for Christmas, what would it be?"

He knew what he'd ask for. He would ask for a big church full of happy people, on a cloudless summer's day, and Thea's pretty face behind a white lace veil, smiling up at him with so much happiness in her eyes, saying to him '_I do, Mathias, of course I do'_, and after that he would take her hands and kiss her, and then they'd be married and so much in love, and if they were human, he could give her children. But as it stood they were not, and no such children could be procured. But that didn't matter, if they were in love, if they were married, what would anything matter-

"Mountains."

Thea's simple response shook Mathias out of his daydream. "Huh?" He asked in an ineloquent tone of voice, momentarily forgetting what it was he had asked.

She scowled a bit, and repeated what she had said. "Mountains." She absently reached out so that her fingertips could press against the window pane lightly. "There are no mountains here. There are in Norway, but..." She trailed off again. Her fingers curled into a fist, her hand drew back and rested on her lap again. She let out a breath, seeming to visibly deflate. That fist relaxed, and she absently played with a loose thread on her sleeve.

"I'd give you mountains if I could." Mathias said, pulling up another chair to sit next to her. "I'd conjure 'em up right here." He gestured at the expansive garden before them.

"It'd ruin your lovely garden, though." Thea replied. She nodded at the forest beyond the borders of Mathias' lands. "Over there'd do just fine for mountains."

Mathias nodded. "Yeah, you're right. I'll have to speak to someone about that, see what I can do." He chuckled quietly, and to his surprise so did she, looking over the land with an almost content look in her eyes. She could not go home but she was with her brother, and he made her laugh, and sometimes, if she tried to forget all her worries, that was just as good.

"What about you?" She asked, looking over at him. "What would you ask for?" She thought about the ornate book of Scandinavian lore that they had once owned between them. It was beautiful, and very old and precious, and somewhere along the road it had slipped out of Mathias' memory and he had assumed it was missing. Thea had assumed the same, as it did seem to vanish for a while. She found it again in the bottom of a trunk, and vowed she would surprise Mathias and return it to him, if only to watch his facial expressions as the memories came flooding back, the nostalgia entwined with them. It would be a bittersweet nostalgia, for back then they were happy and free, and now...they weren't that free anymore, and they were happy on occasion, but it wasn't the same. She was excited to see his reaction, though she had trouble admitting that fact, even to herself.

Mathias' smile faded slightly. "What would _I _ask for?" Thea nodded. "I...oh, I dunno...some peace and quiet, I think." It wasn't a very good answer, but he had avoided saying what he was worried about admitting, so no harm done.

"Oh, come now," Thea said, "you can't keep quiet for more than five minutes, and we both know it."

Mathias blinked, not expecting such a comment, and suddenly he began to laugh. Thea seemed surprised by his laughter, but she began to laugh quietly as well. The curls in her hair shook a little as she did, and eventually they were both smiling at each other. There was a spark of the old times between them, and it widened Mathias' smile, made his heart fill with a happy feeling, as if all was not lost, as if their relationship could be salvaged.

"Well..." Thea said, getting to her feet. "We might not get mountains, but I think we'll have a nice Christmas." The corner of her lip curled up a little. "Or a bearable one, at least." She leaned down to kiss Mathias on the cheek and he went rather red, not expecting that. "Merry Christmas, then, bror." After that she said no more and left the room, off to do whatever she did in order to while away the hours. Mathias watched her go, and when the door had closed behind her, he grinned, and looked out of the window to resume what she had been doing, watching the snowy landscape outside the window, appreciating its quiet beauty. _Yes, _he thought, _it'll be alright. Someday, we'll be friends again, she'll grin and laugh and dance again. All is not lost._


End file.
